What did I do for those two years while my diary collected dust, my e-mail accounts expired and life went on elsewhere? I'm sure if I sat and really put some thought into it I could tell you. I could also tell you right now it doesn't matter. What does matter is what I'm doing today, right now. I realized living in the past and constantly worrying about the future is no way to live. So I don't do that anymore.
Anyway... On another note. I'm having conflicting feelings. What is it with me and the men in my life? I've been in a serious monogomous relationship with someone for two years or so. And it hasn't always been happy and good, but I stuck it out because I love him. He's actually in treatment right now. He's been in treatment since July and he'll be home January 3, 2005. And he's decided he wants happy and good and he wants me. And then I have this friend. Who I like a lot and who I'm a little attracted to and who is closer to my age and the list goes on. And while I haven't crossed any lines I'm constantly tempted, but I won't, but I can't continue to ignore the fact that I have these feelings and I just don't know what to do.
In the meantime, I guess I'll just pray.

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